Changes, changes…

sometimes they’re good. Sometimes, as we all know, not so good. But this is a good one! Eddo is hooking me up with a new site and a fresh look!

This is where you will find me in about a week:

www.faithinflorida.com

(I’m official, hehe.)

A little too… (you fill in the blank.)

Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can’t fence that in
Stupid boy, it’s like holding back the wind
She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that’s what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can’t

Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess you build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

She let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that’s what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can’t
You stupid boy

Oh, you always had to be right but now you’ve lost
The only thing that ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah Well, she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
Yes, ya did She never even knew she had a choice and that’s what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can’t

You stupid boy, oh, I’m the same old Same old stupid boy
It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone

Ah, she’s gone Nobody’s ever gonna love me like she loved me
And she loved me, she loved me God please, just let her know I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry,I’m sorry
Baby, yeah, I’m down on my knees

She’s never coming back to me.

(Keith Urban)

I’ll be back in Florida this time tomorrow. Woo ho…

I’ll be back in Florida this time tomorrow. Woo hoo!

I can’t do this. I need my sister right now. And s…

I can’t do this. I need my sister right now. And she’s gone.

Ode to Kobe…

Kobe, Kobe, Kobe Bryant.

I’m actually not a big fan, but the Kobe Bryant song is a trip!!

Black Refrigerators.

(I saved this post for this day specifically.)

About a month ago, my children and I were eating dinner at the dinner table. I can’t recall how the topic came up, but we began talking about color. I tried to explain to my children in very simple terms what slavery was and how our world has changed so much in just a short time. And I told them about Dr. King, and how he helped change hearts, minds and the world through his message of love.

It went something like this:

“Not too long ago, before you were born, before mommy and daddy were born black people did not have rights.”

(Wide eyes, confused looks.)

“America did not even consider black people to be people. People were mean to black people. Some people hated them.”

Son: “Why did they hate them? What did they do for them to hate them?”

“They did nothing. People were just mean.”

Son: “So they did nothing, but people hated them anyway. For no reason. Well that doesn’t make any sense.”

So this conversatuon went on for a while. We talked about segregation, and water fountains and buses and..everything a little confused mind could think of.

Seriously, they were just trying to make sense of the whole thing. It sounded really silly to them that a bunch of grown ups decided that they didn’t like people simple because of the color of their skin. (Kids are so much smarter than adults…)

And this was my favorite line of the whole conversation.

My daughter looks around the room and the black refrigerator catches her eye.

“Did they hate black refrigerators, too?”

I love it! Through the eyes of a child. How silly to hate something based on the outer appearance. In her mind: It’s just the color, right? A black refrigerator does the same job as a white one or a pink one or a brown one. They are all the same on the inside. When you open them up, they all look the same. It made absolutely NO sense to her.

And you know what? I hope it never does.

I need to know…

who is reading from G-ville?

I have noticed A LOT of readers from G-ville lately. Seriously, who are you? If you don’t know me, that’s cool. Welcome. Hope you come back. If you know me, well make yourself known please! There should only be a couple of you…as far as I know.

Chris (Leak): if it’s you, I totally understand that you want to remain anonymous. hehehehehe.

***

So, this is how crazy I am. 8 years ago, I beat this girl up. I know, I know. That is so trashy but I was a mean girl AND I was in my early 20’s. That is before I let God in. I mean, I clearly remember it: she was at my boyfriend’s house (again) and as she was walking out to her car, I pulled her by the hair and began slamming her face into the concrete. Ouch. It was bad. I messed her up.

8 years later, you know how crazy that sounds to me? That I would beat up a girl because my boyfriend was screwing her. That is so stupid. The guy screws you over by screwing another woman and you fight the girl! Really, really stupid I know. But I was really stupid without God and I will be the first to admit that. Today I would totally hold my head up high and walk away thinking…you just lost me, you idiot. Buh-bye!

But then again, I only learned my worth through God.

So when I was in G-ville for the holidays (which didn’t really turn out to be much of one) I hung out with one of my very good friends.

We were sitting out on her porch, drinking and talking and turns out she knows this girl. Well, it is the same girl I beat up. She tells me the girl is on her MySpace. I always told myself that if I ever ran into any of the girls that I did wrong, that I would apologize. And so you know how crazy I am?

I emailed the girl and apologized. After 8 years. That was about a week ago and she never responded (trust me, I don’t blame her) but it felt really good to do that because it never was about a response.

P.S.- Because I keep getting comments about “the response,” I just wanted to make myself clear: i am actually not hoping to hear from her. I have already heard from God on this one. In my mind, this is not between her and I. On my end, this is between God and I. And on her end, the same…it is between her and God. Not her and I. Make sense?

Scraping.

and I mean SCRAPING by.

I have never really talked about this as I suspect many people do not. But I cannot be alone in this. I want to know what other people do. How do you save? Right now, we are scraping by…

…see. That is what is currently in our 3 different accounts. I was like, oh sh…oot.

There are many reasons: we are paying off loans, baby’s hospital bills ($3,000.), mortgage, diapers, etc. I mean, on one income I feel like I am some kind of magician at the end of each paycheck. How do I make it work? I do.

But, if anything huge were to happen we’d be stuck like Chuck. I can say this though (and this is a huge plus!): My husband and I are not in deep debt (at all) and we both have decent credit. If it weren’t for those two things, I do not know what I’d be doing.

So how do you do it? Well for us, the was is more practical than anything. Momma is going back to work. But I am really excited about this because I have known for a while that I needed more than staying at home.

I mean, there are really great things about being a SAHM. But let’s be honest, it is no fun when you can’t even pay your bills! That, AND, my mind is going a mile a minute. I am ready to carve out a career for myself. I am just ready to do something.

Yeah, I still have that book I am working on. But that is going to have to wait for baby to grow up. There is literally no extra time for anything. I am not exaggerating. Not when there are two OTHER children ages 8 and 5.

It’s hard.

Really. hard.

At least tomorrow is payday!

p.s- This morning I checked our direct deposit, and hubby’s check was an extra $200 than usual. God works it out, doesn’t he?

Following the lead.

Well, I just saw this on GFF’s site and thought I would follow her lead. I’d love to hear from my non-commenters and that one person from Live Oak…who are you? My husband is from there. (OMG…I am just hoping not an in law! Eek!!)

Would love to hear from everyone!!

Leak on Leno.

So I stayed up until 11:35, waiting for Leno to begin.

After Ben Affleck, Chris came out and I have to say that I am doubly impressed. I never knew that he stopped dating while he was in college so that he could focus more on his “game.” Yeah, most college guys are concerned about running game on women, but Leak is a refreshing change from that.

He’s such an impressive guy that it made me wonder about his father’s role in his life. He is so grounded and nice. i heard that his dad was his highschool football coach. Why am I not surprised? Well, my son Christian has a new role model. And I am more than happy that number 2 on his list is Chris Leak.

Number one, ofcourse, is his dad. I’m sure Chris Leak would appreciate that.