A new baby!

You guys: I have a new baby! And this one didn’t take any work to make at all. Heh.

My new baby is a real, professional blog that my editor is letting me write. Actually, I pitched the idea and she actually said yes. What? I am getting paid to blog…are you kidding me?!

And my blog is going to be on the home page of the online paper with my name on it. Niiice.

Okay, so you guys get to help me name my new baby. This is going to be a blog for moms. And I need a nice, crisp, catchy name. My editor wants it by Monday.

So, get to work. And whoever comes up with the best name will get a signed copy of my book! Woo hoo! Just let me know where to send it in about 10 years….as in, when I actually write it.

Fashion Show!

Since we are back in Florida now, we get our court-ordered weekends with my step daughter. Her mom is such a NICE LADY (hmm) that she sent no clothes, nothing with her. She says to my husband, “You guys can buy her everything she needs.” Yeah, and we pay child support. So, no toothbrush, underwear, clothes, socks. And since her mom hasn’t let us see her consistently in years, we have nothing for her. Oh, the other NICE thing she did was NOT tell her daughter that she would be spending weekends with us. I just assumed she would have had that conversation with her child, but she did not say anything to her at all. Sheesh. That really gives me some insight into their relationship.

But whatever.

I pulled my resources and got some things for her until we can actually go shopping. And since we had little money, I had to be creative. After lunch with the boys (Eli and Daddy,) we had a fashion show at the mall. I brought my camera and let the girls (my daughter, step daughter and niece) pick any outfit to try on (and not buy:) But they had such a blast. We even ended up at the Mac counter, where each girl got her lipgloss applied by the Mac lady. They loved that. As you can see.

Then we went to the Adopt-a-thon at the mall and took random pictures with the animals. Dari found this silly boy who has his own unique way of napping, even when people are milling around him all day long.

And here is the cutest little Bulldog. I love these fat little scrunchy things. He was hot and breathing like an old man. But he was totally being spoiled by his owner.

He was totally looking at my…

boobs.

Seriously.

So I was at the annual Spring festival at the school when I had my hands full. I was pushing a stroller that had two huge bags attached to it; and I had the other two kids.

This guy steps in front of me to open the door. Thankyou so much! I say.

We end up in line together. We get hamburgers. Then we end up elbow-to-elbow at the condiment counter, when I kind of look at him (as he turned away.)

(I know him. What’s his name again? Gosh, how could I forget his name. Of all people?! This guy has seen my BOOBS and I can’t even remember his name?!)

I.
am.
horrible.

Okay, it’s not that dramatic. He’s my plastic surgeon- the guy that saved me from my DDD’s and made my boobs nice and perky–after three kids! (Hey, did you know that a breast reduction is really a boob lift. It’s the exact same procedure; they just take some out. And how great is it when insurance covers that?!)

So he has his burger in one hand as he walks up to the drink booth. (Drinks=1 ticket.)

“So, if I don’t have a ticket, what do I do to get a drink?” he says, showing his pearly, pearly whites and being ever-so-sweet.

“Sorry. You need a ticket.”

He glares back to where the “ticket” line is and looks defeated. That line was long! The man looked like he wanted a Sprite so bad. Heh.

“Dr. T!” I say. “I have an extra ticket. Have it. Then you won’t have to wait in that crazy line again.”

“Thank you so much!”…He gets his Sprite. (How’d I know?) And turns back to me. “So how are you? What are you doing these days?”

“I’m working at (the paper.)”

“Yeah they are always hitting me up for money.”

We both laugh.

“Well, I don’t work in that department,” I say. “I’m in editorial.”

“Good for you,” he says.

He’s such a nice guy and as he walks away, I’m thinking…”Okay, how weird is it to run into a guy who has seen my boobs at the school carnival?” That sounded bad, right? No. He did not see my boobs at t he school carnival. Hehe.

But it is funny that even as professional as he is and as friendly as we were toward each other I was still thinking…Hi, guy who has seen my boobs. But, okay let’s be real for a minute: my first thought was :Ofcourse you can have my ticket. Because of you, I have a great rack after three kids! Woo hoo!

Sprites all around.

Frozen.

Phone bill had me frozen…paralyzed today.

I didn’t even mean to, but Alltel takes for.ever. to do things and when I checked my account, they had finally emailed my old bills that I had requested when the whole hubby thing happened. I guess I didn’t realize these old bills were going to have be almost on the ground.

I was scrolling ever-so-slowly through my old bills that went back to 2005. Okay, so I did not see her number once. Whatever. I am so over that chic. But I saw another number- one that really means something to me.

And there it was, like 20 times on one page. It was my sissy’s number. I was seeing- how do I describe this?- I was seeing for the first time, in concrete, specific moments in time that we spoke; moments in time when we were still sisters, living together in the same world. And I got so mad because even though I could touch that bill and see it…I could and can not do the same with her.

This is what I have left? A freaking phone bill! You mean, I can’t call you when I am feeling…lonely in this world?

And there was my ah-ha! moment. I have been missing my sister so severely but I have been ignoring my feelings. And today I guess I just couldn’t ignore it when it was staring me in the face.

When hubby came home, I was frozen in front of my computer- face hot and red, just a sloppy mess. I still had my work clothes on as I slipped quietly upstairs trying not to let anyone hear the sobs that I wanted to let out.

I pressed my face against my pillow and just cried and cried. The blinds were drawn. The fan was on. The sun was just beginning to set. And I… I was frozen.

I thawed myself out in a steaming hot shower. This song- that came on the radio today while I was on my lunch break- kept playing in my mind. I tried to ignore it today, but here it was again. I felt like I could really hear it- as if it were the theme song in my life’s movie at this specific moment.

“In the arms of the angels…fly away from here.”

Not alone.

I’m not alone. I am surrounded by many people. But here is an interesting concept: being not alone, but perhaps simply being lonely in the midst of so many people..so much going on. And I say simply, though it is so, so complex.

Hmm…(tapping my fingers..tapping my brain.)

I’ll have to chew on this a little…

You know your party is not going well…

when you have to call the cops on another random mom.

So, wow. Just wow. I have never, ever experienced a child’s birthday party quite like the one today. We decided to throw my daughter’s 6th birthdday party at the nearby park. The weather was beautiful- cool and breezy with lots of sunshine. I had prepared all of the food and was ready for lots of fun, presents and cake.

So this park has pavilion with six tables under each one. Usually, you use the tables that are not being used…even if another party is there. That is how we’ve always, always done it. So I see three women who had with them four babies. They have their stuff on three of the tables.

“Are you expecting more people?” I asked her (very kindly.)

“No.”

“Do you mind if we use a couple of the empty tables? We are having a very small gathering.”

“Well, I mean, I don’t know. We are about to sit down and eat.” (I’m looking at the tables, thinking..why do three people need six tables to eat?”

So- with my arms loaded with various food dishes- I go see if there are any other tables. And there is a table- complete with mounds of ant piles and dirt surrounding it. (And I am not about to sit all these small kids at this table.)

I walk back to the pavilion and say “Ma’am, I am going to have to use this table. I just can’t sit my kids at the other one- it is filled with ant piles.”

“Whatever!” She says to me.

So things are going well for about 30 minutes when one of my guests brings a little Border Collie. Crazy park lady’s babies are now crying. They look grumpy, maybe tired, maybe hungry. And then she starts crying. “My kids are scared of dogs!”

“We will not let the dog come near you guys, okay?”

“Shut the F*CK up!” “F*ck you and F*ck everyone. You F*cking ruined my F*cking party! You ruined my party!!! F*ck, F*ck, F*ck.”

(OH MY GOSH!)

(“Kids, go play…”)

While I am taking the kids to play, my friend steps in. “Ma’am, we are not trying to ruin your party. We will not bother you okay? You need to calm down.”

She lunges at my friend and then sits back down and starts grabbing her head and pulling her hair. “They ruined my party!” She then picks up a bag of ice and throws it right under our tables.

At this point, I call the cops. Because she just won’t quit. I hear her screaming some more now. “OWWWWWWWW!!! MY BABY! MY BABY! MAMMA, I’M HAVING A MISCARRIAGE! CALL THE AMBULANCE!” (She says to her mom- one of the three women there.) And- NO- she did not look pregnant.

Oh. my. gosh. This lady has seriously lost her mind. One of the kids at our party had to be taken home because she was crying and scared.

So the cops get there. Four of them pull up along with the EMT. I am going to meet the cops and as I am walking to meet them, when I run smack into (GUESS WHO?!)

Girl from Florida.

We have been blogging friends for almost four years and we have never met. Ofcourse, irony chooses this time of all times for us to meet face-to-face. “Do you know who I am?”

I know she was probably thinking…”what are all those cop cars doing there?” Little did she know, it was because “faithinflorida” called them. Isn’t life funny sometimes?

So I give her the run down and (because I still have to meet the cops) she walks over to hubby and meets him and Eli. Hubby later told me that my mom said to GFF..How do you know my daughter? (Oh, I read her blog.) Blog? How do you access this blog? Hubby said GFF looked at him like, Oh crap!

And according to him, she said something like “I read it, but I don’t know how to access it.”

Ha. Classic.

So in the end, the cops escorted crazy park lady out of the park. And then the officer comes back to me and hands me a slip of paper.

“Thankyou,” I say and smile.
“Don’t thank me. I didn’t give you anything.”
“You didn’t give me what? I don;t know what you are talking about.” And we both laugh.

In my pocket, on that slip of paper was the lady’s info. so that I could file a “concerned citizens” complaint with the Department of Children and Families.

Yes, I was concerned about my kids for witnessing such a horrible thing on such a wonderful day. But my kids are coming home with me where they will be safe. Her kids are going home with her. (Shaking my head.)

The cops couldn’t charge her with anything and couldn’t legally take her in. How unfortunate. She really needs help. But more importantly, those children need a voice. They need someone to say…Something at home just isn’t right. And it’s not.

So I will be filing a report and praying that this was more than a birthday party gone bad. For me, this is my chance to alert someone. Because I can guarantee you that what we all just witnessed is nothing compared to what goes on behind closed doors. I guarantee it.

So, it’s hard to see because of the lighting, but if you look in the background of the first of two pictures, you can see the cops in the background.

Ummm…I promise he is not this giant! She is just teensy:)

How’d I pull this off?

So I was supposed to do like 100 loads of laudry over the weekend, but what do you think ended up happening? We don’t have a washer and dryer right now. We have to get one soon and the thought of having 3 kids in a laundromat kind of traumatized me. heh.

So lastnight I am thinking about how screwed I am going to be if I don’t get at least some work clothes washed. But I didn’t do that, because, again..the thought of three kids in a laundromat.

So this morning after my shower I was thinking, I’m really screwed. It’s not like I can wear jeans to work and what do you know? I pulled something together. Something CLEAN together. I had forgotten about this outfit. Maybe I didn’t realize it would fit me already. Yay.

Anyway when hubby gets here today, he’ll be doing laundry until we get a machine. If I always do it, he’ll think we don’t really need a machine. Yeah right.

Ouch, ouch, ouch

damn kitty! Lastnight, she was bothering me so I tossed her out of my bed and how does she re-pay me? By getting one sharp nail stuck in my toe and hanging on. AHHHHHHHHHH!! That. freaking. hurt.

My poor little toe!

Classic me.

Yesterday as my boss and I were wrapping up our conversation, she says to me:

“I must tell you that I would have never known you were juggling three kids by yourself. You are so very-well put together. You look like you have it so together.”

“I do? Wow. Thanks.”

And so today I get to work. I’ve been there about 10 minutes when I hmm…something seems unusual to me. What is it?”

And when I realized what I had just done, I had to run to Publix.

I had forgotten to put my deoderant on this morning. See how put together I am? heh.

And so I made the most of my time at the store. I picked up a bag of fig newtons and a bottle water. And deoderant. It’s really nice being able to do that without feeling like a work prisoner. Believe me, I have had my share of jobs like that. Yuck.

This is how cool…

my boss is.

So this morning, I asked to meet with her for a few minutes before she got really busy. In the newsroom, as soon as you turn on your computer…forget about it. You just don’t stop for the rest of the day…escpecially if you’re the editor.

So we went to the boardroom and I told her how I was developing a new strategy (sounds really professional, right?) Oh please, my new “system” is simply some labeled folders..hahaha. But I had to bring some order to the chaos. And who else has figured our that some simple folders and labels can really change things.

So we were talking and she knows my hubby is going to be here in a week. And so she changes the subject from folders to family. “So, how is everything with the kids and all?”

“It’s been so hard with just me and the kids,” I told her.

“I cannot imagine,” she said. “I am going to give you a day off. When he gets back, let me know what day you want off, and you just go to the spa or get your nails done. You just need a day to decompress.”

“Hmm.. I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“Yeah, I’m really serious.”

“Yeah, me too.” And we both laugh.

She is really cool. We totally click. (She just offered me a day off for “me” time. How could we NOT click?) And, really, I’ve only been there two weeks. Yeah, that’s cool.